Jingle Bells And All It Sells

by | Dec 25, 1997 | Rewritten Songs

Dashing through the store
Got a 3-wheel shopping cart
Stood in line for hours
When someone slipped a fart
Nothing could have moved me
Try as they might do
I need a little sedative
Or just a chair would do (Ooooh)


Bows and wrap
Bought all this crap
I’ll need next year to pay
Built all this debt
And what do I get?
A cyclone Christmas Day – hey!
Sibling fights
A frantic holiday
I go to the can
Without a plan
Except to get away.

I’ll do it different next time
I’ve said this years before
Go shopping months ahead
Show up at someone’s door
Won’t use my Visa card
Won’t sit at any lights
Won’t be another space cadet
At Wal-Mart late at night, ohhh..(Chorus)

Forget about the New Year
I have come undone
They play another carol
I’m looking for a gun
And though I did not drink
This headache is intense
When did this Christmas frenzy
Stop making any sense? Ooooh! (Chorus)

Ciera S Louise
c.12/25/97 Revised 11/18/98